it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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