I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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