I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
