Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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