Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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