Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
