mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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