Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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