Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
