Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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