Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
