...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
