Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
