i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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