Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
