So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
