Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
