I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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