An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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