Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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