My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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