Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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