Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
