physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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