Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
