my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
