do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
