I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
