my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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