Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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