is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
