And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
