I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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