Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
