she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
