You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
