I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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