My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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