i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
