I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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