All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
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