Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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