no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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