what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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