my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
