Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
