What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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