Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
