I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
