shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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