how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
