Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
