the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
