do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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