i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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