My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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