You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
