Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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