I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
