so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
