Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
