Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
