I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
