you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize