The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
