JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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